I was lucky enough to be bought a Soviet man-bag as a birthday present this year. Granted, I've been pioneering the man-bag trend for a long time now, mainly because I didn't realise they were in some way looked down on - but previously, they've been strictly messenger bags, so if anyone tried to accuse me of having a handbag - and therefore, in some way, being less of a man for it - I could claim I was a messenger and carrying important missives. A human carrier pigeon, if you will.

But this man-bag is deceptively bloody huge; it looks small on the outside, but it holds more than you could possibly conceive on the inside, and thus it has my respect. What it may not be able to contend with, however, is the sheer randomness of what's going to end up in there. For instance, let's take an inventory of what's in there today; perhaps this will open up a window into my psyche so that the ten or so people who read this regularly may understand me somewhat better, or, to be honest, probably not.

Today's inventory;

- A paperback copy of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Yiddish_Policemen%27s_Union>The Yiddish Policeman's Union, with a price label on the back for Season 1 Part 2 of Bleach on R2 DVD, peeled from a train window when on the way home one day proving at once both that other people in the world who take the same trains as me watch Bleach and that HMV heinously overprice their anime DVDs;

- A Centenary program for a theatre I've never been to;

- A payslip

- A role of grey duct tape

- A pair of scissors, used to cut the duct tape in an earlier repair job, to be returned to work tomorrow;

- A bank statement

- A Black and grey beanie hat

- A 1 3/4'' model of Frank Castle

- 9 analog cassete tapes; "Parklife" and "Modern Life is Rubbish" by Blur, "Birdhouse in your soul" (Single) by They Might be Giants, a head cleaning cassette, "One Day at a time: Tues 2nd Feb" by Father Francis, of the Franciscan Friary; "Scratch and Sniff" by Smith and Jones; "The Good Son" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds; "Love" by Aztec Camera; and The Best Of John Williams; all purchased for a legitimate reason, I'll have you know, and all for 50p a go.

- An Ipod connection cable.

- A Blue and White "Frangi" silk tie;

- Keys, Wallet and department-issue Shoyfer;

- Two ID cards, one for an office soon to be closed;

- and a bottle of "Motrin IB" pills from, of all places, New York

The question becomes, obviously; what does this say about me; or, more accurately, why worry?