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Things I have learnt from "The Incredible Hulk" (2008)

by stompyrobot @ 2008/06/21 - 18:32:11

I saw The Incredible Hulk last night, and I have to say, it taught me a lot of new things that I previously wouldn't have realised;

(I) Don't give cockneys drugs, or, at least, don't give cockneys the super-soldier serum. It won't go well.

(II) You can get from Guatemala to Virginia in seventeen days, especially if you have no money whatsoever.

(III) Giving Stan Lee gamma-irradiated soda is not a setup for a sequel, unfortunately.

(IV) When all else fails, use REALLY BIG SPEAKERS if you need to fight something.

And, lastly but not least,

(V) You can solve all your problems using auto-erotic asphyxiation.

I don't think I'll apply the last lesson to real life, but it appears to be true; Banner's Hulk versus Roth's Abomination is a one-sided fight, in that it's a scientist who fears his inner Hulk versus a trained soldier who embraces it. Up until the point the Hulk puts out a fire by clapping, then chokes the Abomination with a length of chain with an extremely dodgy look of joy on his face. It's because he's winning, I know, but it just looked bizarrely sexual.

Oh, and also;

(VI) If you're a general that's just had a massive problem with two monsters beating the hell out of each other in Manhattan, and everything's gone wrong, drown your sorrows with, apparently, Galliano.

The Tony Stark cameo was pretty brilliant, however.

Still, why worry?


 
 

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